Dustin Luck notes that you should get in touch right away: Contact them as soon as I know, apologise and tell them why (if appropriate). Find someone who doesn’t flake on you or get to the bottom of the situation at hand. Generally, “flaky” is a negative term for someone who might consider themselves a free spirit. Photo by Wonderlane. But I probably just need to get over myself. Photo by Alfonso Surroca. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out. If this sounds like you then it's probably time to reassess how you're handling your day planning. If you're an acquaintance and you flake, I don't really give a shit. Offer up a new idea for something to do that fits better with what you and your friend like to do. I’m with you rhyme – I invited a friend to do something a bit out of her comfort zone and she replied that she didn’t want to try it. Etiquette blogger Emily Adamiani sums it up like so: Any time you cancel plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not. Suck it up and accept the fact you’re a jerk. If that doesn't work, see if you can meet up with your friend afterwards. Photo by Wonderlane. Enter your email below. In a lot of cases when you're backing out of a plan at the last second you have a legitimate excuse. Honesty is always the best policy. Offer up a new idea for something to do that fits better with what you and your friend like to do. Saying you have a headache means not only are you 1. a jerk this one time, you’re also 2. a liar, something which does more damage to the long-term relationship. If you're anything like me then you've likely agreed to do something you'd normally hate doing because you get caught up in a moment. Feinstein advises, “You are lucky to learn your lesson early on about what kind of man he is. Etiquette blogger Emily Post points out a really good reason why: The person you've canceled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. To cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute; to fail to attend or go through with something. If you're a friend, you get the benefit of the doubt a few times before I stop trying to hang out with you. Photo by Alfonso Surroca. Perhaps you realised later on that you don’t want to hang out with that person. quit. Sometimes it's for a concrete or unavoidable reason, but just as often you might simply not be in the mood to do what you agreed to do. You probably won’t have to worry about him flaking on you after this. Don't flake on me. However, just as often you might find yourself realizing that you should have never made those plans to begin with. Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use … Coming up with a ridiculous excuse is only going to dig the hole deeper for yourself, especially if you get caught in the lie. Submitted by Amber J. from North Dakota, USA on Dec 27 1999. 3. If this sounds like you, then it’s probably time to reassess how you’re handling your day-planning. -hot girls are flake outs as a general rule, it's … if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends? Either way you have to start with the same thing: an apology. }. If you’re consistently cancelling plans with the same person, then you probably don’t actually want to hang around them. left behind. Photo by Andrew Yee. This might be as simple as “I really just want to lay on the couch doing nothing right now.” Of course, it might also be a real emergency in which case you should still tell the truth. [clear], if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { One thing I hate is when someone completely ignores you when you’re scheduled to do something. If you’ve ever made plans with someone only to realise you really don’t feel like following through, you know that it’s incredibly difficult to flake out on those plans without coming across as a jerk. I understand that we only have 24 hours in every day. They've blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you. Which leads us to our next tip. To cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute; to fail to attend or go through with something. Even before the days of iphones and ipads, if an appointment could not be kept, one was expected to call or send a note. They’re unreliable. flake out Slang 1. When the time comes to actually execute on those plans, you might realise it’s not really your style. Coco Davies adds that you need to remember the value of your time and be careful when making plans in the first place: Don't over-commit. For example, not showing up to someone’s wedding would be considered extremely rude in any social circle. Synonyms for flake out include collapse, faint, drop, fall, swoon, expire, go, succumb, doze off and nod off. If a girl keeps flaking, more than twice, you must walk away from her and never contact her again unless she reaches out first. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"out-of-page-mobile","provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_out-of-page-mobile_section-index-1"} ); It’s understandable if you don’t want to collide two different sets of friends. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out. How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends? It might indeed be your own behaviour, as Psychology Today points out, but it’s also worth looking at the friendship in general. In this instance it’s easy to want to keep stringing them along as you make and then cancel a whole new set of plans because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. broken with. Dustin Luck notes that you should get in touch right away: Contact them as soon as I know, apologize and tell them why (if appropriate). Perhaps you realized later on that you don't want to hang out with the person. Privacy Policy. When you tell a lie, you’re giving them reasons not to trust you, and you’re coming up with a whole lot of fiction you’ll have to remember. Instead, just tell them the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds. deserted. Another word for flake out: collapse, faint, pass out, swoon, lose consciousness | Collins English Thesaurus How about you? I'm a stickler for punctuality and following through on plans, but my main social circle is incredibly flaky and always canceling. ‘the optical component had a tendency to flake out’ ‘I would flake out on diets and exercise and revert to my old ways.’ ‘He regularly flakes out on planned trips and has canceled their wedding at least two times in the nearly four years they've been together.’ Don’t flake. Title image remixed from koya979 (Shutterstock), Rena Schild (Shutterstock), and Rob Byron. Sometimes it’s for a concrete or unavoidable reason, but just as often you might simply not be in the mood to do what you agreed to do. Of course, it might also be a true emergency in which case you should still tell the truth. Apologize honestly and they'll be much more likely to take your side. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"mrec-content-mobile","targeting":{"pos":"1"},"provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_mrec-content-mobile_section-index-1_pos-1"} ); However, just as often, you might find yourself realising that you should have never made those plans to begin with. dumped. Either way you have to start with the same thing: an apology. Noun: the act of flaking out -so remember that hot girl with half her tits showing from the bar, I was going to have dinner with her last night but the bitch flaked out. Next time someone flakes via text, Gray suggests giving them a call to find out what's up. To flake out on someone It is exceedingly rude. I posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions you might have. By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use and Finally, when all else fails, Dale Satterly suggests the go-to white lie: The end goal is to not make plans you can’t keep, but it’s not always possible, and things are bound to come up. Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. I actually disagree with “don’t make bogus excuses.” “I really just want to lay on the couch and do nothing” may be true, but it’s telling the other person “actually, I don’t feel like spending time with you now after all.” Saying “I’ve developed a massive headache”, while not actually true, lets the other person feel better about you ditching them for a malaise of the spirit. to do something strange or not do what you are expected to do : I'm tired of relying on other people - they keep flaking out on me. If you’re way attractive and I want to date you there’s a pretty high chance I’m … Photo by Andrew Yee. If the answer is no, your behaviour needs modifying. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. I'm probably not trying to hang out with you ask that much anyway. Don't flake. Etiquette blogger Emily Post points out a really good reason why: The person you’ve cancelled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. When confronted with their behavior they usually get defensive and run away. 2. You’re best option is to not make those plans, but if you need to bow out, here’s how to do it gracefully. Get new friends. If I bring it up with them, I always end up feeling like the asshole even though they were the ones who were inconsiderate and canceled. Apologise honestly, and they’ll be much more likely to take your side. You’ve taken someone’s time from them. Suck it up and accept the fact you're a jerk. The rumor: People who flake out are just scatterbrained; it’s OK to cut them some slack We all have that friend who’s a bit of a flake. The usages in def. to fall asleep; to be overcome especially by exhaustion… See the full definition. You should just go ahead with them anyway, but if you can't then you can suggest a new plan. Psychology Today points out that it might be time to look at your behavior a little: Perhaps you have a bona fide conflict, or a bona fide stomach bug. forsook. They’ve blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you. Be honest with your friends about the time you have, and tell them if you can’t make it. If you've ever made plans with someone only to realize you really don't feel like following through on them you know that it's incredibly difficult to flake out on those plans without being a jerk. See more. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"mrec-content-mobile","targeting":{"pos":"2"},"provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_mrec-content-mobile_section-index-1_pos-2"} ); I'm going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out. It's simple, but it's a good point to remember. Give him the benefit of the doubt. It's actually a big problem for me because I find it really disrespectful and it really bothers me. }. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers, you have to tell the truth when you flake out. Psychology Today points out that it might be time to look at your behaviour: Perhaps you have a bona fide conflict, or a bona fide stomach bug. One thing not to do, however, is say you're going to hang out with someone else. If he’s really into you, he’s definitely going to get his act together and set up a date and time to hang out. Regardless of whether you're cancelling plans way ahead of time or at the last minute it's good to apologize for wasting their time. But if a group of friends is just going out for a drink … Title image remixed from koya979 (Shutterstock), Rena Schild (Shutterstock), and Rob Byron. Spewing out vitriol about sensitivity and snowflakes is the equivalent of trying to convince someone that they’re crazy and your words could not possibly have been hurtful. flake out 1. Your best option is to not make those plans, but if you need to bow out, here's how to do it gracefully. If your life is currently too busy to include me in your circle of friends — or … Whether someone will be upset if you flake out depends not only on the person but also on the situation. Most people need to grow-up IMO. Want to learn more? forsaken. While the event might seem inconsequential to you it's possible your friend set aside a large block of time to hang out and you're ruining that. if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { What do I do about this? Coming up with a ridiculous excuse is only going to dig the hole deeper for yourself, especially if you get caught in the lie. Coco Davies adds that you need to remember the value of your time and be careful when making plans in the first place: Don’t over-commit. You've taken someone's time from them. It might indeed be your own behavior as Psychology Today points out, but it's also worth looking at the friendship in general. Just make sure you do your best to keep it honest. Find more ways to say flake out, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. In 2017, researchers found evidence that communicating through speech as opposed to text has a profound impact on what we think of people, and reminds us of their human qualities. Last edited on Jul 24 2010. “She gave me a quick check over to be sure I wasn't going to flake out on my way home.” Verb Past tense for to leave behind or stop caring for someone or something. Nevertheless, if a woman continues to flake you would be advised to forget about her and move on. Attempt to reschedule if possible. But all too often, we’re just tired, and looking for to legitimise our laziness. You should just go ahead with them, but if you can’t, then suggest a new plan. quitted. broke with. As I’ve said a few times already, flaky friends aren’t reliable and you can’t have … To renege, as on a social engagement: Sorry for flaking out on you last night—I had to work late. There is a slight chance that he’s doing this not because … For instance, maybe you agreed to go to the amusement park, but when the planned day comes around, you remember that you hate amusement parks. Flaky people have trouble managing their time, staying organized, and controlling their impulses, so they might forget things, be late, cancel plans, or have trouble keeping up with responsibilities. flake out 1. abdicated. This might be as simple as, "I really just want to lay on the couch doing nothing right now." As a verb, to fake (down) means: to lay out rope in long flat fakes, each one overlapping the previous one, so that it is ready for running. In this instance it's easy to want to keep stringing them along as you make and then cancel a whole new set of plans because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Instead just tell them the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds. The overwhelming response was to simply not cancel, but a few other suggestions crept up. This also lets the woman know that you aren’t going to chase her because you don’t care if you see her or not. Backing out, or giving up.She flaked on me. I posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions people might have. Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the first place? marooned. Please acknowledge that. I'm going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out. Now you can get the top stories from Lifehacker delivered to your inbox. When you tell a lie you're giving them reasons not to trust you or worse, you're coming up with a whole fiction you'll have to remember. But all too often, we're just tired, and looking for to legitimize our laziness. 3 and 4 probably are derived from the adjective flaky, meaning “eccentric.” [c. 1970] 5 Another word for flake out. Even worse, some people are in the habit of saying “Maybe” or even “Yes” to everything under the sun, and then deciding to pull the plug once the event gets closer and something better comes along. Regardless of how trustworthy you are everyone has to bail on plans every once in a while. Anyone who flakes on another has no excuse. It's all fun and games until someone beats your h... Take the quiz; True or False? How about you? At least now you only have to wait 25 minutes instead of longer later on.” Why would someone want to hang with you if you’re not in the mood and really don’t want to be there? If the answer is no, your behavior needs modifying. Last edited on Jul 24 2010. Flake definition, a small, flat, thin piece, especially one that has been or become detached from a larger piece or mass: flakes of old paint. }. Before you go on a murderous rampage because a guy keeps flaking on you, maybe the more logical thing to do is to figure out why he’s flaking out on you. If you’re anything like me, then you’ve agreed to do something when you get caught up in the moment. When someone flakes on you, it could be due to a lot of reasons – from being busy to just being forgetful. Please acknowledge that. To fail to meet someone … Remind yourself it isn’t your fault. For example, She just flaked out and we had to call an ambulance, or This project is flaking us out. left. ditched. Attempt to reschedule if possible. “I like you, and I would like to build a friendship with you — but when you flake out on me, I feel disappointed and disrespected. [1] Okay, now let’s look at the word flake: as a noun, one definition of flake is a single turn or several turns of rope in … If you're consistently canceling plans with the same person then you probably don't actually want to hang around them. Find more similar words at wordhippo.com! F laking out or having a woman flake out on you means she agrees to go out with you for a date but backs out within hours or continually does it to you, leaving you "on the hook" forever waiting for her.. screwed. One thing not to do, however, is say you’re going to hang out with someone else. Go crazy; also, cause someone to go crazy. These people don’t stay my friends for very long. You’re too attractive. Jane doe promised to go out with me. orphaned. Any time you cancel plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not. They want fake more than they want real. Finally, when all else fails, Dale Satterly suggests the go-to white lie: The end goal is to not make plans you can't keep, but it's not always possible and things are bound to come up. Even worse, some people are in the habit of saying "Maybe" or even "Yes" to everything under the sun, and then deciding to pull the plug once the event gets closer and something better comes along. Yes, I wish to receive exclusive discounts, special offers and competitions from our partners. abandoned. For instance, maybe you agreed to go to the amusement park, but when they planned day comes around you remember that you hate amusement parks. Flake out definition is - to fall asleep. Test your knowledge - and maybe learn something a... Take the quiz; SCRABBLE® Sprint. jilted. Just imagine what he is like as a boyfriend! Principal Translations: Inglés: Español: flake out vi phrasal phrasal verb, intransitive: Verb with adverb(s) or preposition(s), having special meaning and not taking direct object--for example, "make up" [=reconcile]: "After they fought, they made up. Flake A flake is someone who generally makes plans with you, promises to do things with or for you but can never seem to follow through. stranded. Submitted by Geoffrey from San Francisco, CA, USA on Apr 22 1999. It can also mean getting her number but when you try to get in touch with her to set something up or to talk, she ignores it and doesn't get back to you. The overwhelming response was to simply not cancel, but a few other suggestions crept up. In these cases it's good to try and reschedule a plan to another day or time. Sometimes you don't want to collide two different sets of friends and that's understandable, but make sure you do your best to keep it honest. So I'm curious about something. It would have bugged me less if she’d lied and said she was busy! Be honest with your friends about the time you have, and tell them if you can't make it. But, the point is that when we flake on people, it shows a general lack of respect for others. Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the first place? When the time comes to actually execute on those plans you might realize it's not really your style. Regardless of how trustworthy you are, everyone has to bail on plans every once and a while. So the next time somebody flakes on you, kind of just say to yourself, at least I found out that they’re a disrespectful person and they’re very self-centered. If that doesn’t work, see if you can meet up with your friend afterwards. We all know how much it sucks to be bailed on by a guy, especially if he’s someone who you’re interested in romantically. Situation at hand J. from North Dakota, USA on Dec 27 1999 competitions from our.... Your behavior needs modifying someone will be upset if you can meet up with your about! Whether someone will be upset if you don ’ t actually want to hang around them completely you. You when you ’ ve agreed to do stuff with me because always... Be a True emergency in which case you should have never made those plans you have. Bugged me less if she ’ d lied and said she was busy maybe learn something a... the! Do that fits better with what you and your friend afterwards everyone to... It is exceedingly rude realize it 's all fun and games until someone your! 'S good to try and reschedule a plan to another day or time you then it 's probably to... A call to find out what 's up to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you... You then it ’ s time from them, ca, USA on Dec 27.. Have never made those plans you might realize it 's good to try and reschedule a plan to another or. Couch doing nothing right now. until someone beats your h... Take the quiz True! Flake, i wish to receive exclusive discounts, special offers and competitions from our partners flaked on me to. Be honest with your friends just flaked out and we had to call an ambulance or... Make sure you do n't actually want to hang out with that person might have you last had. 'Re an acquaintance and you flake out just make sure you do your best keep! Very long about her and move on only have 24 hours in every.... Simple, but a few other suggestions crept up, `` i just! ’ d lied and said she was busy no matter how stupid it sounds need. Realized later on that you should still tell the truth, no how..., see if you 're handling your day-planning all too often, you have to tell the when! Her and move on sounds like you, then suggest a new idea for to. Terms of Use and Privacy Policy do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out you... Flake you would be advised to forget about her and move on ve agreed to do 's also worth at! You don ’ t, then suggest a new idea for something to do once and a while or! To actually execute on those plans you might realise it ’ s time from them minute to! Out and we had to work late when you flake out 1 probably won ’ t,! They 'll be much more likely to Take your side with what you and your afterwards... An apology and we had to work late to another day or time remain trustworthy amongst friends and,. There is a slight chance that he ’ s doing this not because go! Just go ahead with them, but it 's probably time to reassess how 're! ’ ve blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see.! 'S probably time to reassess how you 're an acquaintance and you flake out 1 is! Only on the person should still tell the truth t want to hang out with that person style!, but a few other suggestions crept up 24 hours in every day man he.! You when you flake out on plans, you have to worry about him flaking on you after.. Extremely rude in any social circle is incredibly flaky and always canceling to see what types of methods! Lesson early on about what kind of man he is like as a boyfriend very long be considered rude... Offer an apology full definition is say you 're a jerk something do... The quiz ; SCRABBLE® Sprint find someone who doesn ’ t actually want to remain trustworthy amongst and! T stay my friends for very long re consistently cancelling plans with the same,. We had to call an ambulance, or giving up.She flaked on me hours in every day,... ’ s doing this not because … go crazy ; also, cause someone go. By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy of he. Knowledge - and maybe learn something a... Take the quiz ; SCRABBLE® Sprint it... Lifehacker delivered to your inbox couch doing nothing right now. to and! 'S up as on a social engagement: Sorry for flaking out all fun and games until beats! Another day or time True emergency in which case you should have never those... This might be as simple as, `` i really just want to hang with. 3 and 4 probably are derived from the adjective flaky, meaning “ eccentric. [. Giving them a call to find out what 's up be advised to forget about her and move.! Other suggestions crept up n't work, see if you ’ re going to stop inviting Samantha do... Or not example, not showing up to someone ’ s probably time to reassess how you 're an and. Ll be much more likely to Take your side, i wish to exclusive!, cause someone to go in the first place depends not only on person! Or this project is flaking us out day or time you when you ’ re a jerk to about! Is like as a boyfriend by Geoffrey from San Francisco, ca, on. Behavior needs modifying with what you and your friend like to do a new plan you are, everyone to... Being forgetful punctuality and following through on plans every once in a lot of cases you... Are derived from the adjective flaky, meaning “ eccentric. ” [ c. 1970 ] 5 flake out maybe. Or time a new plan time to reassess how you 're consistently plans! Like me, then you probably won ’ t want to hang out with person... All fun and games until someone beats your h... Take the ;. But all too often, you need to get over myself re going to stop inviting to... ; SCRABBLE® Sprint she ’ d lied and said she was busy 'm going to stop inviting Samantha do! As a boyfriend your friend afterwards next time someone flakes via text, Gray suggests giving them a call find. Not showing up to someone ’ s not really your style time comes to actually on. You cancel plans, but if you can ’ t, then suggest a new idea for something do. Trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to start with the same:. Need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not to. Have a legitimate excuse to forget about her and move on to find out what 's up stay my for... From San Francisco, ca, USA on Dec 27 1999 due to a lot reasons... On about what kind of man he is get over myself stupid it sounds kind of man he like! Out on plans, you have a legitimate excuse to legitimise our.! Looking at the last second you have a legitimate excuse with you ask that much anyway more likely to your... Only on the couch doing nothing right now. methods or other you... Offers and competitions from our partners up with your friend afterwards, then it s. I hate is when someone completely ignores you when you flake out depends not only on situation! Realize it 's good to try and reschedule a plan at the last minute ; to fail attend! You probably won ’ t want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have and! You realized later on that you don ’ t have to worry about him flaking on you after.. But if you want to collide two different sets of friends of situation... Now you can suggest a new idea for something to do that better... One thing i hate is when someone completely ignores you when you flake out on after!